This is actually quite a personal post, it was in part brought on by the publication of Kingdom of Ash. Please bear with me as this probably just going to be a huge mess. I’m not sure why I’m writing, or even posting it.
As many of you know, I am a huge fan of Sarah J Maas. I first picked up a copy of A Court of Thorns and Roses back when it first came out, after a month of hearing about it and needing to find out what it was all about. This lead to me going straight back to Waterstones and buying every Throne of Glass book currently out and devouring them all within two weeks. This series came into my life right when I needed it most, my dad had been ill for while and not long after was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Reading had always been an escape for me. I needed books more than ever during this time and found my sanctuary in the world of Erilea with all of those amazing characters and badass protagonist.
Queen of Shadows arrived in the post the day before his funeral, again it came right when I needed it most. It was a huge comfort at night when I couldn’t sleep, I’d sit up late and read it with Harry. I reread them religiously during that time, I know many would say it was unhealthy to completely lose myself in them instead of facing the reality of it. Maybe they’re right, I don’t know.
What I do know is this series gave me the space to process a lot of things, an escape from it when all I needed was to shut everything out. Celeana’s strength and ability to persevere though everything thrown at her, the weight she carries, was one of the many things that helped me during that time. It’s so hard to put everything into words. The world and characters Sarah has created mean the world to me for so many reasons and become my favourite series ever, I’m not quite ready to let go. I know no one is, and it’s ending is inevitable. I also know there’s more books coming to look forward to. Knowing that’s the last book with those characters and world that helped me though that, and continues to help me has brought so many feelings back to the surface. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited about it! I know the series will go out with a bang, and won’t disappoint. I just don’t feel ready to let go, what happens next? I know this is probably really weird. I hope I get the chance to say this to Sarah one day, fingers crossed it happens and I’m one of the lucky 50 next month. I know it most likely won’t happen though. I hope this makes sense, it probably doesn’t. And that’s okay.